|Unidentified Flying Outrage!
Unidentified Flying Outrage! is a book which Bart bought at Books! Books! And Additional Books!. The ideas in the book played a major role in a conspiracy-theory investigation by the kids of Springfield to explain suddenly-appearing suspicious behavior they saw among the town's adults.
Unidentifed Flying Outrage! is about unidentified flying objects (UFOs) and a government conspiracy to cover up their existence. The author's name isn't specified, but according to the jacket copy he is the head of the Spaceology Department at the Correspondence College of Tampa.
Bart became interested in UFOs when he thought he saw one outside his bedroom window and asked his parents to investigate (interrupting them in the middle of a romantic encounter). Marge found that the "UFO" was an old golf umbrella stuck in a tree, but Bart still wasn't convinced. He asked to sleep with his parents, to which Marge quickly said "no". In her eagerness to get back to Homer, however, Marge agreed that Bart could sit on the roof with a baseball bat in case a UFO did come.
The next day, the family went shopping at Books! Books! And Additional Books! While Homer and Marge looked for a book to help spice up their love life, Bart found Unidentifed Flying Outrage! and was intrigued by the book's position that "[UFOs] are real, but there's a huge government conspiracy to cover it up". He bought the book and eagerly began reading it.
Later, Bart and Milhouse were puzzled by the adults' sudden behavior of hurrying home, running inside, and immediately closing the blinds and getting together with their spouses or partners. Bart, still reading the book, thought that UFO involvement explained what was going on: "Unexplainable behavior: individuals acting in a secretive fashion are often involved with UFOs or other paranormal phenomena, e.g., telephone explosions." The real explanation, of course, was that the men were drinking Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic and then hurrying indoors to be with their wives/partners. Bart and Milhouse, however, knowing nothing of the tonic, figured that the book's explanation was correct.
Bart and Milhouse eventually got the rest of the neighborhood kids involved in their investigation. Bart believed that the adults were "paving the way for an invasion by the saucer people", but Milhouse thought that Bart was a fool and a massive government conspiracy was behind what was going on. Lisa said that their conclusions were ridiculous and, citing Occam's Razor, pointed out that "The simplest explanation is probably the correct one." When Bart pressed her for a simple explanation, Lisa sarcastically said, "I don't know. Maybe they're all reverse vampires and they have to get home before dark."
Even though Lisa was being sarcastic, the kids were shocked by the "reverse vampire" possibility and incorporated it into their explanation of the adults' behavior. The theory they finally agreed on, as outlined by Milhouse, was that "The RAND Corporation, in conjunction with the saucer people, under the supervision of the reverse vampires, are forcing our parents to go to bed early in a fiendish plot to eliminate the meal of dinner."
The outcome of the kids' investigation isn't known. Presumably it dissolved after Bart finished reading Unidentified Flying Outrage! and after Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic's initial wave of popularity died down.
||The contents of this article or section are considered to be non-canon and therefore may not have actually happened or existed.
The book is on the non-fiction shelf at Springfield Library.
 Behind the Laughter
- The book's title, Unidentified Flying Outrage!, is a play on "unidentified flying object".
- The RAND Corporation is a think tank funded by both government and private sources. Much of its work on behalf of defense and intelligence agencies is classifed, leading to the corporation's occasionally being mentioned in conspiracy theories.
- Lisa's sarcastic "reverse vampires" comment is a reference to vampires' vulnerability to sunlight in the Vampire mythos.
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