- "It's not our fault our generation has short attention spans, Dad. We watch an appalling amount of TV."
- ―Lisa Simpson
|"I Married Marge"
||December 26, 1991
||The family cartwheeel into a "ta da!" pose. Maggie then jumps onto the couch with them and strikes the pose as well.
||"I will not torment the emotionally frail"
I Married Marge is the twelfth episode of the season 3. It originally aired on December 26, 1991. The episode was written by Jeff Martin and directed by Jeffrey Lynch.
In flashback, the year is 1980, and Homer and Marge are dating. After seeing a Star Wars movie, they get busy afterwards - and Marge finds out she is pregnant with Bart. When Homer finds out, he proposes to her, and then tries to find a higher paying job. He goes to the new power plant, only to be rejected. When the baby's things are repossessed, Homer decides they'll be better off without him - until Marge comes to find him.
Marge and Homer are worrying that Marge may be pregnant again. After a home pregnancy test gives inconclusive results, Marge drives to Dr. Hibbert's office. Homer begins to tell Bart, Lisa, and Maggie about how he and Marge got married, and Bart's birth thereafter.
Homer begins his story in 1980, while he was working at a miniature golf course and still dating Marge. One night on a romantic date, after seeing The Empire Strikes Back, Homer and Marge make love inside of a golf course castle. Shortly after, Marge discovers that she is pregnant. Homer decides to propose to Marge, and she eagerly accepts. The two marry in a small wedding chapel across state lines, while Marge is visibly pregnant. The two spend their "wedding night" at Marge's parents' house, sleeping on a couch in the living room. Needless to say, this aggravates Marge's mother and sisters extremely.
Unfortunately for Homer and Marge, Homer's wages are not enough to pay for his new family. Homer attempts to get a job at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, but his interview goes horribly. After many of Homer and Marge's newly purchased baby supplies and Marge's wedding ring are repossessed, Homer decides to leave and find a job, in order to provide for Marge and his unborn son. Marge is brought to tears by Homer's absence. In a parody of Raising Arizona, Homer leaves a letter to a sleeping Marge describing the above. However, even in sorrow, Homer still winds up irritating Patty, who complains for Homer to "not scratch the pen so loud".
Homer gets a job at a Gulp 'n' Blow taco restaurant, where Patty and Selma find him, after nearly choking on a taco filled with hair. Patty, who has absolute hatred for Homer, insists that they remain silent about it to Marge, simply to let her find him by "reading about it in the Society Pages". But Selma, feeling sorry for Marge and some pity for Homer, decides to tell Marge the truth. Marge, now well into her third trimester of pregnancy, finds Homer and convinces him to come back home with her. Homer feels ashamed and unworthy to be Marge's husband as he is not able to afford an appropriate wedding ring, but Marge tells him any ring is fine, so long as it is from him. Homer decides to try to apply for a job at the Nuclear Power Plant once more, this time marching into Mr. Burns' office and telling him dramatically that he will be the perfect spineless employee. Mr. Burns is so impressed that he hires Homer on the spot. Homer, glad that he has this well-paying job, is able to now buy back the repossessed wedding ring and baby items.
When Homer returns to Marge's house, he discovers she has gone into labor and is already at the hospital. Marge's mother Jacqueline offers to take Homer to the hospital (on the condition he never calls her "mother" again). Homer arrives shortly before she gives birth, where Patty snipes at Homer, saying he doesn't belong in the delivery room. Homer bites back, then Patty insults him again ("Watch it, fat boy!"). Then, in a rare fit of passionate rage, he angrily snaps at Patty, demanding respect with such verbal force that it actually intimidates Patty into silence. He then turns to Marge, telling her of his success. The rest of the delivery goes smoothly, except for one minor incident ("Homer, for God's sake, let the doctor deliver the baby!"). After the baby is born, Homer and Marge decide to name him Bart. Bart takes Homer's cigarette lighter and lights his tie on fire. Homer quickly dips the tie into a glass of water, gets mad at Bart ("Why you little--!!") and tells Marge that he did it on purpose, but Marge tells Homer that Bart is ten minutes old.
After Homer finishes telling his flashback story, he tells Bart that the day he was born, Homer received the greatest gifts for the family. Marge arrives home with the news that she is not pregnant. Homer and Marge are overjoyed and high-five.
 Other Airdates
- International: 28 January 1993